Heads up fellas, I just received this notice from Kim of Asian Escapades (AE) about a fund raiser for a very worthy cause:  " We will be having an official fundraiser for the ONA Children's hospital in the AE-Place - it will be a huge pool party with girls attending from all Ray Kelly bars and the Blue Nile group. All proceeds will be handed over to Mark Smith for the renovation of the Children's Wing in ONA. I am hoping we can get enough focus on this so we can collect somewhere in the area of 300,000 Pesos (This event is scheduled for 27 May). We will have a giant raffle with the following prizes:

1 st Prize: a 90cc Motor Scooter - Kindly donated by Bluewidget.

2 nd Prize: 1 weeks accommodation in Wild Orchid - Kindly donated by the Orchid Hotels.

3 rd Prize: 2 round trip tickets to Boracay - Kindly donated by SeAir.

4 th Prize: 1 Steak Dinner for 2 in C' Italian Dining - Kindly donated by Chef Chris from C' Italian.

5 th Prize: 1 Steak Dinner for 2 in C' Italian Dining - Kindly donated by Chef Chris from C' Italian.

Raffle tickets will be available in Roadhouse and various other bars very soon, and Trance from PI@Night will be selling tickets online as well.  Entrance on the day will be P1000 per head, that includes everything you can drink(local drinks) plus food. There will also be jeepneys going back and forth to Fields making transportation easier for guests. "

I am truly excited about the progress of the Subic-Clark-Tarlac road. With each passing month one can see the changes taking place.  This is really, one hell of a big project and the construction is taking place in so many different locations at the same time.  Once in a while I take a few pictures but it is too early to publish any right now.  Completion is still two years away but investors are already speculating and property prices are increasing rapidly.  If anyone is interested in retiring in this area, get your butts over here now and buy a house or some land, don't wait to retire, buy now and use later. 

Mo, from Mo's Place (Kokomo's) has taken over part ownership of the Mai Tai Hotel (previously Arizona Hotel) in Olongapo and is busy carrying on the projects started by Robert Sullivan who fulfilled his contract and decided to use his marketing skills elsewhere.  Rob jump started the rebirth of the Hotel, instituted some necessary renovations and brought to bear his great marketing skills.  Now, with Mo on board I have heard that Robert is heading back to Thailand to take care of projects he put on hold while handling affairs at the Mai Tai.  Meanwhile, Neville, after leaving the Mai Tai is having great success overseeing his new Club, "The Jolly Frog" which will be featured in this month's column.

Here's a mystery for you.  Pat Lynch anchored his boat at Magellan's Landing, Subic, overnight.  In the morning, Pat Lynch's boat was at the bottom of the ocean.  No one knows why or how it sunk.  The lad who told me the story, Terry, wonders if Pat might have have had one wine too many and removed the rubber bung and forgot to put it back.  Now I have to find Pat to solve this mystery for me but he might be underwater trying to raise up his boat. 

How many people remember "Curry Steve"?  Well, I remembered his curry but I forgot what he looked like.  Anyway he left me a delicious sample of his curry and a note telling me that he was back in town and looking for a bar or restaurant to cook an Indian range of food (Hey, this might be something for the Jolly Frog) to sell in-house and wholesale curry sauces.  If anyone is interested you can contact Steve at 09174599025.

Is it true that our local famous Norwegian who is a frequent customer at the Hang Out is responsible for the laying up of our popular butcher, Bretto?  Regretfully, Bretto suffered a fall in his shop a few weeks ago that landed him in the hospital for a few days and then at home, in bed, for weeks.  It was thought, initially, that he had a broken hip but fortunately, it was not that serious.  But, when a 300 pound body hits the floor after tripping over a case of goods that can put a hurting on anyone.  Why might it be the fault of Eric Wolf?  Well, he is the one that was trying to buy some wine for a friend in Zambales and asked Bretto's advice.  Being a frequent imbiber of wine Bretto had just the right selection and went into his store room to bring out a couple of selections and when he started to show them to Eric, he tripped on the obstacle mentioned and hit the floor very hard and also, breaking the bottles of wine.  I was told the screams of anger and pain could be heard all the way to the Hang Out and attempts to lift him from the floor took a bit of doing.  After a bit of a delay, an ambulance from PIH finally arrived and carted poor Bretto off to start a long period of recovery.  What happened to Eric during this time you might ask?  What else could he do but at the appropriate time, pay for his wine and quietly depart the area.  Of course we are only teasing Eric about Bretto's accident being his fault, after all, he was only trying to make a purchase.  But then again, if he had a bit of knowledge about wine, he could have asked one of the sales girls for the wine and left Bretto out of it.  Or, could Bretto have tripped over Eric's foot instead of a misplaced case on the floor?  Obviously, this is all in fun but Eric and all of Bretto's mates at the Hang Out and in town are sorry to hear of this mishap and hope for a speedy recovery for the "Big Guy".

I have written in past articles about the good work that Dr. Froi Canlas and Mark Smith are doing in upgrading the facilities at the City Government ONA Hospital at the request of Mayor Lazatin.  Both individuals have put in many hours to change the image of this hospital and the Rotary Club of Clark Centennial has joined in and needless to say, the donations of equipment from the Knightsbridge Foundation has been absolutely fantastic.  Of course, we all know that Mark is a legal permanent resident in this country and despite his being a foreigner his dedication and love for this country and its citizens, especially the children, is beyond reproach.  I wrote before of what he is doing at ONA and the Mayor himself, recently hired him as a consultant to formalize the many hours he was putting in as a volunteer.  For this service he now receives a monthly remuneration from the City of which he puts right back into the hospital to purchase medicines and supplies that are not on hand but needed to treat indigent patients.  Additionally, he still has to dip into his own money to assist the needy.  Mark will not stand by and see a child go without medical care because of a lack of money.  Why am I mentioning all this again?  Because instead of receiving words of appreciation from City Officials both Dr. Canlas and Mark Smith were summoned before the City Council on 21 Apr to answer a labor complaint against Mark Smith.  It was a trivial matter, but the City Councilors took this time to humiliate both Dr. Canlas and Mark Smith and the meeting turned out to be a direct verbal assault against Mark Smith who they wanted to declare "persona non grata" and there was no consideration taken into account of the remarkable improvements that these two men have accomplished to date.  Instead of thanking Mark the Councilors, especially one, Vicky Vega took offense that a foreigner was involved with the hospital and what right did he have to be hired by the City when a Filipino should be doing the job instead. She even shouted to Mark that this was not 1906 and the Philippines was not a colonial country to be under the control of foreigners.  She displayed such strong anti-foreigner sentiments that Mark Smith had difficulty responding calmly and even Dr. Canlas, a gentle man, was angered.  Speaking of Dr. Canlas, he was not spared either as he was publicly, unfairly, criticized.  This meeting went beyond questioning an employee complaint, it turned into an inquisition and a personal vendetta against Mark Smith.  It was a terrible way to treat two individuals that have spent months trying to turn a badly mismanaged, dirty, run down, badly equipped and corrupt hospital around.  It has not been easy but the success of their efforts are becoming more and more visible with each passing month. 

Thank goodness for Mayor Lazatin.  He was not aware that the City council was castigating Dr. Canlas and Mark Smith at their meeting but when he was informed he quickly reacted.  After the meeting he "invited" the councilors to his residence for a conference.  The end result is that the next day the Councilors took the time to visit ONA and see, first hand, what was being accomplished, what was planned and a detailed explanation of why Mark Smith was hired as a consultant and the results of his presence.  I was told that all the Councilors apologized for their approach, except one, Vicky Vega.  It does not matter, over the years Mark has become used to being verbally abused by elected officials but he was more concerned for Doc Canlas, a man who gave up a lucrative private medical practice to answer the call of the Mayor for help, and is definitely not used to public humiliation.  Now, at least, the Councilors have seen ONA and are aware of the positive turn-a-round of this hospital that within a short period of time will be a showcase of success that will bring pride to the City.  Mark had said that no matter what, if they relieved him from his position, no problem, nothing would stop him from helping those in need and he would continue doing all he could to raise the necessary funds and equipment needed to finish this very worthwhile project.  Also, Vicky, I would like you to know that the many foreigners in this town who have assisted Mark will continue to do so.  In fact a fund raiser, organized by foreigners, is scheduled for 27 May with no other ulterior motive other than to help the community they have chosen to live in or to visit.  Any donations from the Filipino community would be appreciated as well.

Who said Mo is not a nice guy?  OK already, don't answer that but a guy who provides 300 free meals to the street kids that hang around the entertainment area can't be all that bad.  Just kidding Mo, but this Horse would like to thank you for your second annual free feed on 14 Apr that reached out to so many hungry kids and some of their parents at the start of the Holy Week celebrated here in the Philippines.  There are many occasions where Mo reaches out with a helping hand to those less fortunate and seeks no publicity for doing so.  Head Chef Dallas and a team of volunteers worked hard to put this event together and it was a huge success.  It was heart warming to see the smiles of gratitude from those that lined up to get their pre-packed meals and it was a touching way to start off the Easter weekend. 

Oh dear, sometimes when some folks ask this old horse for advice on courtship, love, fidelity, and generally, the characteristics of the ladies that work in our entertainment area many wonder about my words of pessimism and harsh advice.  After 25 years here I have listened to many romantic stories with end results ranging for huge success to absolute disaster.  Just recently a good Australian friend, Andy Devine, entered my bar and told me about his experience.  He had just found out that his live-in girlfriend for the past five years, Adela Lusung, had married an American, one Harry Aaron Suthpen, Jr., some time during the five years she was living with him.  He also found out that in May 2004 Harry and Adela petitioned for the adoption of Adela's two children (not Andy's) as they were planning to live in the States and wanted the children to be legally adopted.  In fact, it was not until Andy went to Australia for a visit earlier this year and was informed by his bank manager that Adela had managed to clean out all the bank accounts here and made off with many of his personal items as well that he began to suspect that something was seriously wrong.  This delayed Andy's return as he had to replenish his funds so that he could get back here only to find out that the love of his life was already married.  This makes me wonder what Adela plans to do with Harry after she and the kids have lived in the States for a few years and obtained their green cards and US citizenship?  This has hurt Andy a bit and he harbors a bit of anger but at least he will be able to recover and be more careful in the future, but what about harry?  No doubt he can be assured that his wife is extremely clever but I would hate to give odds on how long this marriage will last but, since old Harry is already collecting social security, maybe it does not matter.  So ends another Angeles City love story.  

The newest most popular school for the Filipina young ladies to go to are those offering "Care Giver Courses".  In only one they can earn a certificate of completion and start their quest to go abroad.  Forget being a hairdresser, forget accounting, throw the computer out, bring on that bedpan!  This, of course, has helped Expats and tourists over 50 years of age, especially those 65 and above.  Why?  Well, many of these "senior" folks find themselves with some rather young ladies and where is the best place to send them? - why hell, caregivers school of course!  That is practical thinking, because many of those oldsters are needing a bit of home care beyond the old "get it up and lets play" part of their lives.  It's all in the timing as well.  I have a friend here who has not quite reached old age but sent his lady to care giver's school and around half way through her training he was hit by a tricycle while crossing the street, spent a lot of time in the hospital and underwent a long recovery period.  His lady had her first practical test as a care giver and was happy to use him as a training aid.  So fellow senior visitors, get over here, find that younger lady, send her to care giver's school, then to cooking school, then a few computer classes, make a couple of rug rats, then make sure you keep her ass here in the Philippines.  Depending on how young she is she will leave your old, cranky, halitosis breath within a couple of years of living in the States, eh, unless you have enough money to make it worth her while to wait until the will is read.  Remember, be happy, be wise, come to the Philippines and invest in a caregiver, live to an old age and die with a smile on your face and definitely, a clean ass on the way out.

Phil Byrne sent me this sign titled "The best pub sign in the world" and I just had to display it here.  Now, I wonder if I could get away with renaming the Blue Boar Inn to the FCUK INN and put up a duplicate of this sign?  It sure would get a lot of attention and maybe a few more customers.  Of course I might get a few visits from the various police agencies in the area as well.  Damn, I hate to pass up on something this clever and original.  Maybe I could make one and just put it in the bathroom.  What do you readers think??

April was a busy month for some Expat dramas.   A German, Hans Holtz was killed in his apartment in the Villa Sol Subdivision at around 0300 during a robbery.  His wife was sleeping when the robbers burst into her room, tied her up with electrical cord and covered her face with a polo shirt.  She stated that when the suspects fled she exited her room and discovered that her husband was dead.  Guess the suspects did not know how to tie someone up properly.  Anyway, Major Imperial, Station four Commander has stated that the case is under investigation and that the suspects will be aggressively pursued and that there are many questions to be answered in this case.   Another case involved a Canadian being killed by two Aetas involved in a fake gold syndicate operating in the Clark mountains.  Now this had to be an act of stupidity - folks, this gold scam has been going on for years but the victim, Larry Parker, who had 62 should have known better, allowed himself to be taken alone to an isolated area where, supposedly, gold bars were located.  Larry lived with his live-in girlfriend in a hotel in Tarlac City.  This murder took place in broad day light as his body was found in his Toyota Revo vehicle parked at a lahar area in Barangay Tabun.  Fortunately his girlfriend did not accompany him when he left with the suspects, she stayed behind at a gas station.  Folks, this Canadians action was foolish and it cost him his life.  The only gold to be found here is in the pawn shops or in the teeth of some of the bar girls that think gold teeth make them look beautiful.  The last incident involved a foreigner named Jerry Walsh who was taken to the PIH hospital after allegedly being stabbed at the Clarkton Hotel while he was in his room.  I emphasize allegedly because investigation by the police so far indicate that Jerry's story is so full of holes that maybe, just maybe, he might have stabbed himself and made up a good story.  A source related that he had been staying in the Mai Tai Hotel in Olongapo and had checked out with minimal funds and made his way to Angeles City.  Additionally, a source has indicated that he is staying here on an expired visa.  Again, this case is still under investigation and no conclusions can be arrived at until the final report is submitted.  The one thing I can guarantee is that the Clarkton hotel remains a safe, secure place to stay at and some of the negative comments  submitted by phone calls and Emails to the Clarkton management are way off base.  Such an incident would upset any owner/manager of a hotel whether the details of the incident are true or fabricated.  It would be better to wait until ALL the facts are finally put together by the local authorities before arriving at any conclusions.  All three of these incidents were reported in the local newspapers and were, of course, subject to many postings on various message boards where many different opinions were published.  The one common thread here is that no tourists were involved and that these are isolated incidents that can happen in any big city.  Some times, those expats that choose to live here become careless, begin to trust people and let their guards down.  They fail to use common sense and once in a while the end result is at times humorous, sad or tragic.  Angeles City is a safe City to visit and the crime rate is quite low, especially in the entertainment area, but like anywhere else in the world, it ain't perfect. 

The Angeles City VFW had their elections for new officers on 2 Apr and Dale Barsy was elected as the new Commander and eight other various positions were filled as well.  I made a point of attending this meeting because I had been forewarned that it would be controversial as well as a bit entertaining.  As I entered the door that fine Sunday morning I was handed a notice that listed the names of the nine individuals that certain people had deemed worthy of election.  The notice read "For the good of the order these are the officers who we feel will keep our Post moving forward.  Please consider voting for these worthy comrades" (I thought I was in an Iglesia Ng Cristo church meeting where the timid sheep follow the orders of their leader without any thought).  OK fine, then I was handed a short list of names from the "opposition party".  The place was packed, the back pool room was full, the bar area had standing room only and I thought I was attending the grand opening of a new bar in town rather than a VFW election.  I affixed my self made sticker to my shirt claiming myself as being an "independent voter" but it was obvious that the house was stacked against the opposition.  Sure enough, after motions, emotions and demotions, counts and recounts and some more recounts the final tally found that the "blessed" slate of candidates won a clean sweep and the opposition slinked off to a corner to lick their wounds and wait for the perennial "next year".  To tell the truth, I was a bit disgusted with the whole affair and its aftermath.  To me, this VFW is a house divided which is a shame as it is the best VFW in the Pacific and no doubt, far better than most VFWs in the States.  Regretfully, politics rears its ugly head all too often and some people take themselves all too seriously or are bloated with self importance.  But, now is not the time for anyone to harbor ill feelings or any anger towards the outcome of this election.  Instead, it is time for healing and to give full support to those people who volunteered to run for office and won the right to fill their chosen positions democratically.  For those who would like to see changes you now have one year to actively support your VFW and groom others who can run for office in one year's time.  Screw it, what is done is done and maybe, by the time of the next election, a more organized, mature, professional election can be held, and wouldn't that be some sort of miracle.  

A special fund raiser for the Bahay Bata Street Children's Foundation will be held on Wednesday, 3 May, at 8 PM.  The event will be at the Viper Room with tickets costing P1,000 each which will cover drinks and a sit down meal provided by the Bourbon Street Restaurant.  There will be entertainment and raffle tickets are on sale as well at P1,000 with 100 tickets available.  This is a raffle worth taking a chance on as not only is a motorbike being offered but a 27" flat screen TV has been donated for the event as well.  Guess I will make sure to get a raffle ticket as Priscilla and I are building our new apartment and a nice new TV would fit in nicely. The operating costs of the Bahay Bata is running at P300,000 a month and right now those funds are running a bit short.  To offset shortfalls, some members of the Clark Centennial Rotary Club are putting in P5,000 a month each but this is not enough to cover costs and they are looking for Corporate sponsors willing to donate ten to fifty thousand pesos a month.  Right

now we are housing and educating an average of 28 street children but our goal is to be able to house up to 60 children which would greatly reduce the number of those street kids that you see in the entertainment district.  Through the fund raising efforts of people like Peter Bellamy, Ray Kelly, Peter O'Donnell, Mark Smith, Asian Escapades, Go2Phil, and so many others the Center has grown and survived for five years and many are dedicated to keeping it open, no matter what.  You folks know that when Ray Kelly promises a fun evening he delivers so put 3 May on your calendar and get over to the Viper room at 8 PM.  Guys, we need your help, in my humble opinion, those street kids at the Center must not have to return to the streets from which they came.        

Last month I wrote about the Tricare service offered at Dee Hwa Liong Hospital and I may have misled readers as one individual wrote me and said that they were doing something illegal by asking for the deductible money "up front".  This is not the case, the money is not paid in advance, instead it is paid by the patient as they use the outpatient service.  The Tricare office keeps track of the payments and informs patients when they have reached the $150/$300 deductible limit.  So, believe me, they are following Tricare procedures and I hope that my wording this time will clarify any doubts about the legality of what is being offered.  Believe me, it appears that the Tricare providers starting up now are all aware of the problems that befell PIH and Cybercare and have learned from their misfortune.  If you have any doubts about Tricare procedures being offered at any medical facility, please stop by the RAO and check with the Director, Jim Boyd who keeps up with what is being offered and if it is on the up and up. 

TAPS - Retired US Air Force Chief Master Sergeant George Bottrell passed away on the morning of 7 Apr 06, he was 68 years old and was cremated on Monday, 10 Apr.  Such cold, matter of fact words in this announcement but you can not even begin to realize how sad I am to have had to write those words about a man I admired and enjoyed a friendship with for many years.  George was a jewel of a guy, one that was respected and liked by many Expats in this community of ours.  He was a life time member of the VFW and was running a successful business called "Checkmark".  George loved to play pool and would not hesitate to sing a few songs when visiting a karaoke Club.  What made George special was his demeanor and professionalism.  I never heard him raise his voice in anger but you could tell when he was annoyed at something or someone.  He was a natural leader and just one damn likeable person.  The cursed cancer got a hold on him and he had to fight that for a couple of years but the loving care of his wife, MaryAnn, helped him through all the difficult days.  The disease wore him down, bit by bit, until finally, on 7 Apr he decided to lay down for a rest, fell asleep and passed away.  I have a personal belief about death.  I feel that no one is really, finally dead, until the last person alive that knew him or her has passed as well and there is no one left to remember that individual.  George has left us, but he will be alive in many hearts for many, many more years.  Rest in peace George, I will miss you. 

Posted by American Legion Post 123 - It is with extreme sadness that we announce the passing of our members, Legionnaire Sotero A. Dadang, World War II veteran and former member of the U.S. Army.  Mr. Dadang passed away on Thursday, April 13, 2006 at Angeles University Hospital.  He is laying in state at his residence at 1535 Rosana St., Mt View, Angeles City.  Other details are pending at this time.  Mr. Dadang would have been 81 years old next week. Please remember him in your thoughts and prayers. (Regretfully, I did not know Mr. Dadang and I am a bit ashamed of myself because I am a life time member of the VFW and American Legion Post 123 and I have never sought out those WW II veterans that are part of our expat community.  I should have known Sotero and taken the time to shake his hand and thank him for a job well done as well as I appreciate the efforts of the Korean and Vietnam vets.  I will get over to Post 123 and ask the Commander how many active members are WWII vets and see if I can get them together for a picture.  I do not want to be embarrassed again by being too late to give them a bit of recognition they so ably deserve.
  

TOURISTS OF THE MONTH

On 31 Apr three lads dropped by my stable at the Blue Boar Inn to meet the old horse so of course, I had to take a picture for this issue.  It was too late to insert them into the Apr column since I had already submitted my data to good old Tom D for him to work his magic.  I figured, wow, here I could get a very early start by already finding some willing tourists to feature.  In order not to lose my notes I am typing the information right away, otherwise, believe me, I will forget where I filed the data if I wait two or three weeks.  So, Kerry Latch, Bob Taylor and Sean McCoy, as promised you guys are my poster guys for this month.  Kerry is an active duty Navy doctor stationed in Guam and Sean is with the Fire Department in Guam.  Bob is a retired Navy veteran who is raking in the big bucks way over in Kuwait and somehow was able to meet up with his two friends for a bit of R&R in Angeles City.  One of the party stayed at the Royal Amsterdam Hotel and two stayed at the Orchid Inn.  It definitely was fun chatting with them and I appreciated the drink and the great conversation.  Guys, thanks for taking the time to find me and patiently waiting for me to finish up some business in the hotel before I was able to get out to greet you.  Without any doubt, I am sure you enjoyed your time in Angeles City but I never got a chance to ask you what your favorite watering holes were.  Bob is my main man though, for he remembered the old days when he was stationed at Subic and used to hit Angeles City where he fondly remembers the Fire Empire and the Hard Rock bars.  Kerry and Sean are newbies and can only listen to Bob's stories of when this town really rocked. 

MARCH VISITORS

Here we have five fun loving guys from Mount Isa, NW Queensland, Aus who stopped by to see me in March.  No, I did not lose my notes, I just ran out of time for submission of my column to the webmaster and had to delay the publication of the Mt. Isa hound dogs.  So, in no particular order, because I can't remember who was who, we have Bloke, Barry, Ross (Spud), Bill and Mark.  They told me that they were trying to find me for three years which is a coincidence since Priscilla the Horse has been trying to lose me for three years.  The hotels they stayed at were the Central Park and Swagman and they were having so much fun that I never got around to asking them which bars were their favorites.  I am sure they probably would have told me the "Blue Boar Inn" - Ok already, maybe not.  I did not find Mt. Isa on my new maps but I did see Mt. Coolon.  I think I may give my Google Earth a try.  Of course, today is my Knights of the Brown Ring (AH club) meeting and that means I will forget all about looking for Mt. Isa halfway through the day.  Hey guys, you know where I am now so don't take three years to find me again.  Hey, guess what, three of the lads showed up for the Knights of the Brown Ring meeting on 1 Apr and are now true blue "assholes". 

"C" ITALIAN RESTAURANT

Well, I am three months behind in reporting some of the good meals/events I attended at the house that Chris built.  First, in March I attended the second anniversary of this fine restaurant and the food was so plentiful that Mrs Horse and I had to give up.  Chris delivered the selections one at a time and we did not know how many would be served.  In all 11 different entrees were provided to include Panizza (different flavors), Ribotto Orba, Calumbrian sausages, smoked turkey breasts w/artichoke sauce, black angus flank steak, sea food platter, spaghetti w/basil pesto, manicotti, tiramisu, chocolate cake with vanilla ice-cream, and finally fresh fruit.  Never have I had so many dishes delivered to a table with each one a gourmet treat.  My favorite was the angus flank steak and not knowing there was more to come I really consumed a healthy portion of the wonderful meat.  I nibbled at everything else that followed and have decided that I will get down on my knees and beg Chris for an invite to this third anniversary.  It was a by invitation event only so you have one year to get on this most favored list for an event that will become a famous, sought after dining experience. 

Now, the second happening was much smaller and that was a sample tasting of dishes that will be served at the small eatery that will be an extension of the "C" Italian Restaurant at the new SM Mall that will be opening this year.  This type of eatery is called a "Tratoria" and Chris is developing an array of goodies that will be offered at a reasonable price.  This will be a first for any SM Mall in the Philippines, a gourmet eatery that the average person can stop and enjoy.  More details will be provided as opening day draws closer. 

The last event was when I popped in to take a few pictures of the group calling themselves "The Australian Invasion" as they feasted on more Chef Chris creations.  I did not stop to eat this time but enjoyed seeing some new faces as well as some well know AC locals.

Yes, I did take a lot of pictures but I am only going to show a few here as I can't show three months of photos at one time.  It is bad enough that I am writing about this restaurant again and believe me, I am not on the payroll.  I guess I will have to write something when Chris open's his eatery at the new SM when it opens but until then, no more, this is it!!!

INTERNET AND VOIP PROBLEMS

Dennis Uy is the owner, operator and head guy over the COMCLARK operation that provides the local cable TV operation and is the internet provider for many subscribers in Angeles City.  Of course, being in the Philippines nothing is quite up to the standards of Stateside providers but Dennis tries his best and he does listen to complaints and is always trying to upgrade service to the customers.  Being is such a customer related business he does get his share of complaints and as far as the internet goes, it is usually about down times, download and upload speed and most recently, quality of VOIP reception.  Now, before I go any further, let me tell you that I have absolutely no technical expertise at all, so, literally, I do not know what the hell I am talking about.  I just turn on my computer, do the basic stuff and hope like hell that everything works right.  When it doesn't I call my friend Chuck Guinn for help and 90% of the time he comes to my rescue, even late at night.  If he can't fix it then we call for technician Lehn, a wonderful 90 pound lady that makes house calls and between her and Chuck my computer gets well as I sit there and wonder what the hell they did.  But, I digress from what I wanted to tell you.  Recently, eh, in Mar, those of us with the VONAGE VOIP system were having serious problems in reception quality.  Chuck and I were able to discuss this with Dennis and he agreed to meet us at Spenser's to discuss our problems, another friend, Larry was included.  Dennis met us, despite being busy and took us on a tour of this facility where all the equipment for the Internet was housed and his technicians were available to answer questions.  Yours truly did not have any questions, I just nodded my head at appropriate times to give the impression that I knew what was being discussed and let Chuck do all the talking.  The end result was that Dennis said that what he would do was to selectively give isolated bandwidth to subscribers that were signed on for the P2000 and above service so they would not have to share with volume traffic.  Shit, I should have Chuck write this for me.  Anyway, I just wanted you to know that Dennis Uy is approachable and very responsive to complaints and that it was pretty good of him to take the time to meet us and try to find a solution to a problem that affects many subscribers to his service.  For more complete technical information that transpired during this meeting, don't ask me, contact Chuck Guinn .  ( If you want to send comments to Dennis Uy send an Email to Comclark Support Group ) 

THE JOLLY FROG

I did not go to the grand opening of the Jolly Frog which I hear was one great big party with a lot of action that only Neville could orchestrate along the style one is used to seeing at the Club Rio and Niftys.  All reports provided me were extremely positive.  Finally, on Saturday, 22 Apr I managed to get my sorry Horse's ass over to Friendship with the intention of staying for one drink, take a few pictures and give a report of what I thought of the place.  By the way, it is located on Friendship Road, on the left hand side just before you get to the approach to the Friendship bridge.  Anyway, I met the manager Bill who used to work with the Champagne Group and he was a great host, friendly, sociable, and willing to help me take some pictures.  I love it when I go to a club and they help me with getting the ladies and the Mamasan to cooperate with me, realizing that it gets them a bit of free publicity and my photos will not get them in any trouble (I save any real saucy photos for my personal adult file - I keep trying to get Mo to send me some from his files).  There I go, getting off the main topic again!  What did I think of the Jolly Frog?  Well, I stayed for three hours and enjoyed every minute of the time, so that should give you an idea.  The place is very spacious, featuring along one wall, a water fall so you can imagine what that could lead to.  The ladies were fun, fun, fun and very accommodating. One feature of this Club that is already popular is the large attached room with couches and comfortable chairs that can be accessed via a sliding glass door from the Club.  I found George Brown and a few of his mates there and he said "welcome to the Bull Frog Club" so George has already staked out this room for his relaxation, drinks and non-business conversations but no amount of kisses will turn any of these lads into Princes.  Of course that does not stop the ladies from trying.  They have a nice large kitchen on board that is capable of turning out quantities of food but right now the limited menu features Filipino food and this has to be changed.  Most of their clientele will be foreigners and I am sure they would prefer some sandwiches, hot dogs, chile, etc. rather than what is being offered now.  How about the prices?  Quite reasonable really, local drinks P50, ladies drinks P100 and EWR's (early work release) at P1000.  I met Neville as I was about to leave, reluctantly, and told him that I thought he had a winner with the Jolly Frog.  What I like is that one has two good locations to visit on Friendship in that the "Cold Drop" is just up the road from the Jolly Frog which offers a different atmosphere and some good food as well as some very attractive waitresses.  For those tourists that find it difficult to get beyond Fields Ave I suggest that you make the effort to get to the Jolly Frog and I am sure you will be glad that you did.   

I WOULD IF I COULD

While I was at the Jolly Frog I decided to look for my special May girl.  Normally I try to find a lady that has no children but after asking around 10 ladies I found that they all had from one to three kids.  I nearly said the hell with it and started to return to my table to finish my drink when I spotted Joy.  There was something about her that was kind of appealing and it was not her smile (which was nice) and when she told me she had one 7 month old baby I decided, what the hell, she would do.  She is from Zambales, 21 years old and this was her first job in a bar.  She has two brothers and completed one year of High School.  During the course of the afternoon I saw her with a customer in the adjoining room and he told me that Joy really could be a very big Joy to sit with and despite her youth, was not shy at all.  He did tell me that it was difficult to talk to her because her english was poor but then he did not try to converse with her all that much anyway.  He told me that I made the right choice in featuring her this month regardless of her having one rugrat and a bit of a language barrier.  She more than made up for those few shortcomings so I definitely feel that if you decide to visit Joy, you will not be wasting your time. 

NO MORE BUSSES FOR ME

For many years David Butler drove a bus in Richmond, Virginia, USA and now that he is retired he might miss a few of his friends but as you can see from this photo he is certainly trying to enjoy his retired years.  Dave has been visiting Angeles off and on for two years but is here permanently now and is as happy as a pig in slop.  He stopped by the Blue Boar Inn to say hello to "the Horse" and I talked him into posing with Emily, one of my GROs just to show his friends back in Virginia what they are missing.  In fact he wanted to say hello to Charlie Mitchell, AC, Michael Labron, the Brunson family who own a funeral parlor, his co-workers at GRTC and many others.  He wants all you single, divorced, widowed men and maybe a few married ones to "eat your heart out" as you suffer back in Virginia.  Dave is enjoying a comfortable happy life in AC but one thing is for sure, he is happy that he does not have to drive a bus anymore. (oops, Dave made a short return visit recently and told me that he is heading back to Richmond on 17 May and will drive a bus part time in order to build up his war chest again.  By the way, he will be back with those dead bodies as well, he just can't stay away from his mates, alive or dead.

JEEPNEY CHAOS

Where is the political will of elected City officials to do something about the damn jeepneys that have turned first street into nightmare for normal traffic, pedestrians and businesses along that whole street.  The original plan was to have a one way exit from Clark Air Base to McArthur Ave and a one way street (1st St) leading to Clark.  What has happened is that the jeepneys have taken over two lanes on first street and even the parking areas along the curb as well.  Then you also find them parking along the CDC extension road, effectively creating a one lane out of two lanes for vehicles entering and exiting McArthur Ave (The road running parallel to Fields Ave) and most recently, taking up two lanes on McArthur heading North just where the Digitel transmission trailers are located.  Any complaints fall on deaf ears at City Hall because it is a political hot potato that the mayor has been wrestling with for most of his term;  What to do with the jeepneys that come to Angeles City from beyond the City limits.  The Mayor has tried to offer various parking schemes in the past and all have been rejected by the various Jeepney Associations.  If they don't like something, they threaten to strike and will do so if they do not get their way.  So, who suffers, why the general public that must pay double or triple jeepney fares, those who drive privately owned vehicles who must bow to these jeepneys that decide to set up terminals wherever they want, business owners on First Street who find their customers cannot park in front of their establishments, thereby causing a loss of funds.  During the day, the majority of these jeepneys on First Street sit empty for hours at a time, waiting for their turn at passengers.  You can find the drivers at various eateries idling their time away by watching TV, eating, playing cards, etc.  What help is there from the CDC, why none whatsoever.  The terminal they built is filled with jeepneys as well and when trying to drive through this mess, even with a motorbike is like going through a maze.  First of all, there are far too many licensed jeepneys, and also how many of these vehicles really pass the new environmental tests? How many are insured?  How many of the drivers have licenses?  What the hell is going to happen when SM finally opens its doors to the public?  That is easy to answer, simply MORE CHAOS!

MO'S PLACE

I happened to stop by Mo's Place one early afternoon hoping to see Mo himself as we have not had the chance to meet in quite some time and he is always good for a story or two. It had been a while since I had the time to visit and I had nearly forgotten the popular gathering at the "big table" where you can always find an assortment of individuals discussing something about everything.  On this day I even ran into John "Beeline", Mo and a couple of lads that told me I really should take the time to visit Moon's (sorry, still haven't made it there yet - I will go in disguise one of these days).  Now, there is always something else that attracts a bit of attention and that is you never know what ladies you might see at the pool table.  On this particular day I saw this lovely lady who managed to distract me from any conversation about Moon's and I decided to take her picture.  I forget where she is working, you can ask Mo, I just wanted to question as to what one would rather do, talk at the big table or try a bit of a conversation with the pool player.  Of course I opted for the lively conversation at the big table but did pull myself away long enough to take a picture of this rather cute pool enthusiast.  Priscilla would be proud of me and my dedication to this column.

A RARE OCCASION

It is common for a father to bring his son to Angeles City for a visit and to introduce him to the night life here and also for a son to bring his old man over but it is rare to see a son bring his mom over for a visit other than to meet his wife or help to baby sit.  Lucky for me that Kevin and Yssa Finch were out looking about with Kevin's mother, Beryl Whitehouse and the heat drove them into the Blue Boar Inn for a cold drink and a short rest.  The reason it was lucky for me is that it was such a pleasure to meet this personable lady from Norfolk, England who was on her second visit to the Philippines.  Her first visit was for two weeks and this one was for three and she loves the place.  During the conversation with Beryl she revealed that she was an avid lawn bowls player and had tossed a few of those round objects at Hidden Vale.  I was surprised to find out that she had first met some of our local bowlers when they traveled to England for a tournament and now she was able to see them on their home turf.

I did not talk to Kevin or Yssa much because Beryl was such fun to chat with.  She really likes the Filipinos and thinks that they are friendly, lovely people and are so family oriented.  Presently, Beryl has a live-in partner in England but, in the future, if she should find herself alone she would not hesitate to join her son and Yssa here and make this her permanent home.  She already qualifies to reside here as I noticed she enjoys a beer or two and is very adaptable to this environment.  Kevin has lived here for three years and his wife has a business within the Clark Economic Zone.  Good luck in your lawn bowls competitions Beryl and do drop in for another visit and a cold beer on your next trip to AC.

THE A-7 IS A-OK

I remember seeing this new building going up on McArthur Ave just across the street from the end of Fields Ave, just a few meters south and thinking that it was a very nice looking edifice and wondering what it would be. Regretfully, I forgot all about it until the manager of the A-7 Square attended a meeting that I was present at and we had a chance to chat.  I promised to visit the place, especially after I found out that it was a hotel.  It pleases me when I can recommend a place to stay that is very reasonable in price and quite comfortable.  The A-7 Square Apartelle, to me, is fantastic!  I fell in love with the place, it's relaxing, comfortable, stylish atmosphere was a complete surprise to me.  It takes up three floors and has an elevator and an underground parking area that is very secure.  The rooms are large, with first class furnishings that reek of class and comfort.  The location is so convenient, just walk across the street and you are on Fields Ave, with easy access to other entertainment locations in the City.  Now you want to know the prices!  They have three styles of room, deluxe (P2,200), Jr. Suite (P2,500) and Suite (P2,800) and this includes a free continental breakfast for two each morning.  A 10% discount is given for weekly stays and if monthly a further discount can be negotiated.  Their email address is:  a7_square@yahoo.com .  The address:  413 McArthur Highway, Balibago, Angeles City, 2009, Philippines.  You can call them at 63-45-892-2757.  Make your reservation well in advance, despite being newly opened I found that they maintain a nearly 90 to 100 percent occupancy.  I am sure you will enjoy staying at the A-7 and it would be one of my choices if I was a tourist planning a trip to Angeles City - check it out. 

I thought it would be nice to present a picture of Damian and Lerma King's newest edition to their family.  When this picture was taken the little lady was three months old and Lerma's extended family in Timog Park all have opinions on how to care for the little one.  Damian tries to be casual about the whole thing but he is quite proud of both Mom and the baby. Fortunately the arrival of this charming girl has not slowed Dad down at all and you can find out all the pertinent details when you drop by the Honey Ko's Club for a drink.  That is all for now because I can't keep writing about the kid because I forgot her name.  That is why you see me refer to her as "little lady", "little one"  "baby", "charming girl", and finally "Kid". 

MASSAGE OPTIONS

OK guys, for those of you interested in obtaining a few massages while in town here are two selections that are miles apart from each other as far as location, comfort zone, and price but the friendliness is definitely there in both establishments.  The one on the left, the Imee Massage charges P500 for a straight, no hanky panky massage and the girls have undergone formal massage training.  It is owned by Bob Tobin and Imelda and it is interesting to note that Bob, along with John Wagner and Brian Johnson were the original owners of La Bamba and the Hobo Bar.  Of course this has nothing to do with getting a massage but Bob was kind of proud of this fact.  I am told that Charlene has powerful hands.  The Imee is located on fields Ave, across the street from the Chic & Rib Restaurant.

The ladies on the right represent the U & I massage parlor owned by a Filipina couple that I have known for years.  Rey Lacson is a good friend and one hell of a dart player.  This establishment is located on first Street on the far side of the Bayanihan Park right next to the gas station on the corner.  These girls are extremely friendly and I am sure they have never had any formal training other than the experienced ladies passing on their skills and then undergoing on the job training.  Now-a-days you have to fight your way through all the jeepneys parked all around the place and then get inside, tell the owner, Minda, (if she is around) that Harry the Horse sent you and you might be able to talk her into a discount.  It is not a fancy place and the rooms can stand a bit of paint and repair but you can get a decent massage and some extra attention if you so desire.  I did not put a price here as it can be negotiated and that can be fun as well.  

SM MALL - I just had to put this photo in at the end because I went to the trouble to jump on my motorbike yesterday just to let the readers see the progress being made on the construction.  Some folks are saying that it will open in May but that could just be an estimate.  There still remains one problem - the status of this mall is still tied up in the courts.  Mayor Lazatin did enforce a restraining order on construction a while back and then lifted it.  Most people have forgotten that or maybe think that all is well.  Wrong!  There is still strong debate as to whether this Mall comes under the jurisdiction of the CDC or the City.  A wise man was heard to say, no problem, let them finish construction and open, then lets see what happens.  It should be an interesting scenario. 

In preparation for my upcoming trip to Mexico I decided to write a letter to President Bush asking him to assist me in obtaining a few things that I will need in order to make my trip as pleasant as possible.  Here is my letter.  

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.  When it comes time to vote in their country please make sure there are English translators at the polls so I know who to vote for.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers. To receive full ride college scholarships for non-Spanish speaking illegal aliens.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch. Subsidize my low income with food stamps, please.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, I prefer getting paid, how do you say it...under the table and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy. Also, be sure to tell the people to be nice to old horses.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

Sincerely,

Harry the Horse

Nah, I did not create this letter, it was forwarded to me by George Brown but it does reflect, quite well, my personal feelings towards the ILLEGAL Aliens entering the United States and the sorry bunch of liberal, left wing, cowardly politicians sitting on their fat asses in our House of Representatives and Senate too afraid to do anything positive because they want to get the Latino vote anyway they can.  It might be different nationalities involved but Australia, England, Germany, France and other developed countries are trying to cope with their own Immigration problems as well. I may be living in the Philippines, LEGALLY, but I sure would not be able to stay here very long if I was an illegal alien and started demanding my rights.  I would quickly become a resident of one of the Immigration jails and the American Embassy would care less.  Oops, before I forget, I better send off for my absentee ballot request that is now written in English and Spanish, kind of ridiculous isn't it.  Remember, be kind to horses! (Before anyone calls me a racist, please be advised that my heartburn is only with ILLEGAL Immigrants entering the US, regardless of their nationalities.)